Welcome, welcome, welcome to our lentil eating, eco and worm friendly world. It's week 3 of Claire's (ouch!) sorry, our new eco-regime and here are my findings so far, in no particular order:
WORMTASIA
Our Wormery is coming along nicely and the worms have had their period of grace, being allowed to settle in and 'find their feet' [groan]. Now it's full steam ahead and they are having to earn their keep. We have been putting very limited food in the wormery, mainly tea bags, banana skins, apple cores, vegetable peelings (but no onions or garlic... it makes their tiny worm eyes water).
NOW IT'S TIME TO RAISE THE STAKES.......... Lentil Soup, Lentil Stew, Lentil Casserole, Lentil Bake, Grilled Lentils, Pan Fried Lentils on a bed of warm Lentils, Lentil Surprise you name it, if it's good enough for me then it's good enough for the f****** worms.
I'll keep you posted Worm Fans.
Recently, in an attempt to reduce our water usage, we have adopted the old Chinese proverb:
"If it's YELLOW, leave it mellow,
If it's BROWN, flush it down"
Observation 1: This has caused friction in the house, with Beth shouting, "well Ellen, you're not a 'save the planet girl' coz you flushed the chain after you did one wee."
(I can feel Claire shifting uncomfortably as she realises that someone in the house has committed a violation of subsection 1a of the Toilet Code)
Observation 2: Sometimes, there is a correlation between how yellow it is and how mellow it is. This obviously dictates how it should be dealt with, and a recent example of this is as follows: "Dad, I'm sorry I had to flush that one away because it smelt like Cheese Puffs."
Now there are some things that are acceptable to the Parental Palate, and a Cheese Puffs mornin wee aint one of 'em.
Observation 3: Claire has become slightly obsessed with the Toilet Code. I will limit myself (for the sake of our relationship) to one example:
Example a - 1500 hours on Saturday 20 January 2007, Beth and Ellen emerge from the toilet. The conversation went something like this:
Claire - "Well?" (there was no need to expand on this question, as the children know EXACTLY what she was enquiring about)
Beth - "well, I did one then Ellen did one and we didn't flush the toilet." (At this point, Beth walks on her tippie toes, excited and expecting praise, but soon returns to the balls of her feet with Claire's next question)
Claire - "Aye, but how much toilet roll did you use?"
Beth - "just 2 bits"
Ellen - "1 bit",
Claire - "one roll or one square?
Not excessive I thought to myself, maybe 3 squares between them. However when it was my turn to pour the tatties, I could hardly see the ceramic bowl for the amount of toilet roll down there.
NOTE TO SELF - That's it, neither of those 2 are 'save the planet girls'!
Incidentally, the same Chinese fella that told me the Mellow Yellow bollocks came up with another interesting phrase, or rather equation:
Figs = Bigs
Now I'm no mathematician, but THAT'S a sum that even I don't need a pencil to work out! So, if you're having trouble releasing the brown hostage, give it a try and let me know (for research purposes obviously).
So that brings to the end another Post from me. I am away to switch off the computer to save energy, slip into my hemp slacks and a comfy pair of raffia Jesus Sandals (or Adidas 'Bethlehem's') and sing protest songs in the kitchen whilst preparing a Lentil Sunday Lunch and trying to rid my nostrils of the stench of ammonia wafting from the bathroom.
Take care and speak soon.
Rainbow Crystal, Eagle Warrior, Cheese Puff and Little Cub x
