What the f**k did you learn in Basic Training, soldier?
Eating biscuits and essdubs is a COMBAT situation!
Never, I repeat NEVER, leave evidence of your activities in enemy territory. A soldier that leaves just one wrapper, even the tiniest shred of evidence of the consumption of these products... is a DEAD soldier!
Pic 1.Now, pay attention. The objects on the left are your tools. You WILL sleep with them, you WILL make love to them. They will protect your munching activities from discovery.
Pic 2.
Keep your kit on you at all times. This is Marine Training 101, for crying out loud. Whether it's a wrapper from a Twix, Crunchie, Double Decker or Toffee Crisp or a more substantial cardboard box that comes with Jaffa Cakes, Tunnocks Tea Cakes or Hob Nobs, use matches to burn the evidence and help cover your tracks.
Pic 3.And if you're captured and have your kit confiscated... always keep a lighter where the sun don't shine.
Listen to your sister, Marine! Burn the evidence! Now stop eyeballing me and get down and give me twenty!
Sam (I should be in bed! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
